Today’s post regarding my impending quarter-life birthday comes to you from Barbie over at Blogging Barbie.
Hello there, I’m Blogging Barbie) and our darling Heidi asked me to contribute to her “Quarter Life Crises” series. Happily, I obliged.
I’ve always been the baby of my grade. The youngest, always the “last one to turn” with a summer birthday. The monumental “13″ and “16″ and “21″ flew by for others, while I simply waited in the wings.
It all began a year ago, when I believed the quarter life crisis monster would creep about, and began his sneak attacks on my girlfriends. I couldn’t understand at the time why they were suddenly freaking out about being single, or not being okay with where they were in their relationships. Or, why some of them wanted to start grad school all of sudden…switch jobs. Moved. Settled down with the wrong person. I just. Didn’t. Get. It.
But then? Then, something happened. Specifically: my half birthday happened.
(Yes, my half birthday. Go with it.)
Ever since February 11th and the realization that OMG I’m going to be 25 in six months, its sort of like my mind has been kicked into overdrive. Over questioning. Over thinking. Over worrying. I’ve even dedicated my own category to it on my blogchild. And for what?
I’m well aware self reflection can be good…but am I driving myself crazy laying awake at night? Thinking about finances? Am I making the right choice about my savings/401k/investments? Is it wrong that I’m not settled down yet? Much less have a serious boyfriend? Don’t get me wrong its not alll about men and money, there are some other reoccurring thoughts thrown in there, such as OMG I NEED TO GO ON A SEPHORA SPREE LIEK WHOA.
I know, important life choices we’re discussing here.
But for real. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that I think the reason why perhaps we find ourselves looking back, questioning our choices and our future, is because we’ve finally reached that point of no return. We are adults. And thats scary. To quote my homegirl Meredith Grey: “We’re adults. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop?”
It’s scary because we are now in the same category as our parents. The realization that they are human too. The fact that they’re trying to make the best life choices, and get through the day, just like us? It’s a stark realization. A far cry from the pedestal omnipotent parent we saw as little children.
Now, with this new category we’re in, there are responsibilities. Decisions that have implications much more serious than a grade on a paper. Or whether or not we can play flashlight tag after dinner. We are now at the point where its up to us to take a step back and realize…hey…maybe this might not be fun, but it’s called growing up, and this is what I need to do.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t enjoy the ride. Because the fun is in the detours (oh hai, can we JAM aaaany more cliches into this post? Le sigh. Just…go with it…be adult, and don’t make fun….and go with it. HA.)
…But also, its a time to reflect about where we’ve been, where we’re at, and where we’re going.
At 25, the world is bigger, and its not just us that are affected by the decisions we make. And at this point, I think we’re finally mature enough to understand that there is something bigger than us going on, and we are simply a part of it. How we choose to make our path, and the situations we go through to get there will vary from person to person…but in all honesty, I think this “diet pepsi of chronological life crises” is needed.
Why? It helps us to understand who we are. And who we’re becoming. It gives us a chance to make a bold move toward the future, but not forget our past. It’s about maturity…which I believe is best summed up here, by our dear old friend Ann Landers:
Maturity
Maturity is many things. It is the ability to base a judgment on the big picture, the long haul. It means being able to resist the urge for immediate gratification and opt for the course of action that will pay off later. One of the characteristics of the young is “I want it now.” Grown-up people can wait.Maturity is perseverance — the ability to sweat out a project or a situation in spite of heavy opposition and discouraging setbacks, and stuck with it until it is finished. The adult who is constantly changing jobs, changing friends and changing mates is immature. He cannot stick it out because he has not grown up.Maturity is the ability to control anger and settle the differences without violence or destruction. The mature person can face unpleasantness, frustration, discomfort and defeat without collapsing or complaining. He knows he can’t have everything his own way every time. He is able to defer to circumstances, to other people — and to time. He knows when to compromise and is not too proud to do it.
Maturity is humility. It is being big enough to say, “I was wrong.” And when he is right, the mature person need not experience the satisfaction of saying, “I told you so.”
Maturity is the ability to live up to your responsibilities, and this means being dependable. It means keeping your word. Dependability is the hallmark of integrity. Do you mean what you say — and do you say what you mean? Unfortunately, the world is filled with people who can’t be counted on. When you need them most, they are among the missing. They never seem to come through in the clutches. They break promises and substitute alibis for performance. They show up late or not at all. They are confused and disorganized. Their lives are a chaotic maze of broken promises, former friends, unfinished business and good intentions that somehow never materialize. They are always a day late and a dollar short.
Maturity is the ability to make a decision and stand by it. Immature people spend their lives exploring endless possibilities and then do nothing. Action requires courage. Without courage, little is accomplished.
Maturity is the ability to harness your abilities and your energies and do more than is expected. The mature person refuses to settle for mediocrity. He would rather aim high and miss the mark than aim low — and make it.
Maturity is the art of living in peace with that which we cannot change, the courage to change that which should be changed, no matter what it takes, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Yes, quarter life crises bring about a lot of questions…but finding the answers? That’s a part of finding and taking the sweet with the sour. And learning the delicate balance of the mature, with the carefree child, in all of us.
(OMG. The cliches! The cliches! Out of Control.)
…so if you excuse me, I need to go fluff my hair that I just chopped off a couple days ago. Whaaaaat. I “needed a change.”
Personally, I’m starting to be less afraid of my quarter life. I’m in a good place, I have nothing to be afraid of in the future, I have nothing that I regret from my past (except maybe a couple nights at Our House East in college…) but overall, I look back and think at my sister calling me shortly before her quarter life in tears. She was upset because she hadn’t done anything with her life and was essentially in the position that I’m in. But, doing what I do best (ah-hem, compare myself to my older sister) I did pretty good for myself. So with that, I leave you to ponder your own quarter life crisis’ till next week!
Next week (or friday…whenever i feel like it…) we’ll have another guest blogger (who shall remained unnamed) so I know you’re all excited about coming back for that 
No I’m not whoring out my blog. I don’t know what you’re talking about.
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