What I’ve learned

by Heidi on April 24, 2012

Hubs left just about 7 months ago. The first few weeks were a daze of tears and learning to cope. Learning to be on my own.

You see, I had always had roommates.

In college. At the ripe age of 21.

{These are two of my favorite roommates in college (I had a lot of crappy room/suite mates) before a night out.}

 …then after college.
My roommates were pretty cool. And we partied. A lot.

Then we got a new roommate. He was cool. Again, we partied. A lot.

Then I met Adam. And spent a lot less time at the house. And eventually moved out…

And moved to Capitol Hill with him. Then we got hitched.

My point is, I never lived on my own. I never had to do everything for myself. Whether I had suitemates/roommates in college (which lets be honest, doesn’t really count), housemates after college or was cohabiting, I always had someone around.

Which was why it was huge for me when hubs left for basic and then AIT. Huge and devastatingly scary for me. You see, hubs and I have a great partnership and where he lacks, I pick up the slack (cleaning, being organized, taking care of the cats…) and vice versa (keeping our finances somewhat organized, paying bills, taking care of the car and stuff like that…). Not to mention, I had a huge anxiety of driving when he left. I halted my social life in DC to a certain extent for a short period of time because I was frightened by the thought of driving on Route 50 to New Carrolton during rush hour. Pretty sure the first time I did I had an anxiety attack as I was merging into the exit lane where I-495 intersects with Route 50. But I survived.

I eventually got over that fear (I had to). I got everything that was out of order when he left back in order (mostly) and found new things to keep myself focused. I threw myself into the Junior League. I PR’ed in a couple of races. I made new friends, networked and even found a new job with a much more ideal commute. Because if there was one thing that drained me the most while he was gone? Working 10-12 hour days (mandatory over time was kind of bullshit if you ask me), with a 1.5 hour commute each way? I had no time to work out. I ran a lot late night downtown, in the dark which was just asking for trouble and I was exhausted all the time.  It was in an essence, no bueno.

Before I was nervous about…

…driving. Anywhere really. Now? I just have a lot of road rage…

Managing the husbands finances. Mine have always been a bit straight forward. But he took care of his credit cards and the utilities. Now? I’ll keep doing this thankyouverymuch.

…Being lonely. Now? I like my time on the couch watching trashy tv. Also, you can thank the past 7 months for my new found addiction of the Kardashian’s on E! (Don’t judge…)

Also, I now know that when/if he gets deployed for a longer period of time, I will be okay. Will it be easy? Likely not. But I’m prepared. I have a massive support system around me of family and friends who have been nothing short of amazing and oh so supportive but I built this. Adam made a comment the other day about how when we lived in Connecticut he had the friends and family and I was kind of lost. Now, the roles have reversed. He hasn’t really had the opportunity to make those friendships and relationships but as a partnership, I’m looking forward to him fitting in with the ones I’ve made. And I know he’ll make his own. And we’ll find our place here in the Annapolis community, it’ll happen. But it’ll take time and having him back home with me starting on Saturday is going to be an adjustment.

But I for one can’t wait and I can’t wait for the new chapter to begin and see where this new life in the military takes us. Because as much as I learned about myself and sometimes enjoyed living on my own? I wouldn’t trade having my husband home with me for anything.

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