Here’s something I’ve learned over the past almost eighteen weeks – no one thinks you’re fat when you’re pregnant.
It takes a while for it to sink in, and probably this week when my bump finally started to pop a little more did it really get in through my thick skull.
Since I graduated high school, nay college – I didn’t care much in college, my weight was never comfortable. I remember breaking down in a fitting room of Macy’s sometime about a year after I graduated because I was no longer a size four, nor a six but rather a ten. A size ten at 5’2″?!
Of course, it took me about three-ish years to really get my life and level of fitness back on track despite running various road races in the mean time.
Low point: Summer 2009. Working 45-50 hours per week at a job that largely had me tethered to my desk. Commuting 2+ hours each day (round trip) didn’t leave much time for running. I hit a peak of 155…which at the time I didn’t think was bad for my 5’2″ frame until I saw pictures. It was 20 lbs over my current lowest weight and 30 lbs heavier than I was when I graduated college. YIKES.
Me at a wedding after party. Yikes.
High point: 134. After 8 months of running 20-30 miles per week (rain, shine and late at night after a wretched commute and often “mandatory overtime” , and eating well: 135 lbs the healthiest I’ve been in at least five years.
And here’s what i’ve learned about pregnancy. Clothes won’t fit. You’re growing. It’s not fat. It’s not bad but it can make you feel awkward, uncomfortable and until you have that visible baby bump that shows what the growth is for, it may damage your self image a bit. Everyone gains weight at a different pace. And weight gain during pregnancy is healthy it’s going to happen. If you think you’re gaining weight too fast, talk to your doctor.
That’s all okay. Emotions run high. When I’m having fat days, when my pants are tighter, or sweater buttons start clinging to their threads for dear life, I know it’s okay. Leave the cardigan unbuttoned, wear a belly band, and start shopping girls – you’re pregnant. Within a few weeks, most of my wardrobe probably won’t be fitting me anyhow.
People find pregnancy is a beautiful thing. And it is. I’m learning that. It’s hard to think that when you’re 14 weeks pregnant, have nothing to show but your clothes don’t fit. But patience pays off and that beautiful, sensual tummy that’s working hard to grow a human being will round itself out and as the weeks go on will be only more beautiful.
I’m no longer stressing about my weight gain. I eat what I want, when I’m hungry. I try to balance my severe Taco Bell cravings with vegetables, fruit and lots of water. I walk every where and when my doctor tells me that I’m being super unhealthy or if I feel like I’m letting go of the healthy habits I worked so hard for, then I’ll reevaluate. Until then, I’m going to bask in the pregnancy glow and stay off the scale.